To be or not to be..

And there are strong followers and then there is a group of bloggers who are anti-followers. They want to provide relief and healing to those who doubt the credibility of the organization that has such a cult following.
I of course have my own doubts about the whole thing, like I've mentioned here many times before. And more often than not, it suits me fine to just stay away. Because for me SK almost always got me angry and bugged rather than calming me down and bringing tranquility.
But when I look at my close other's life.. its changed for the best.. not just better. She has a sense of calmness and an ability to accept everything like no other. And while I admire that with respect and reverence, I still have my own doubts.
There IS always the BUT for me when it comes to the organization. The economics of it has ALWAYS baffled me.. and in fact made me remarkably agonized. I just never get it. So big an organization should never be charging people through their noses for what they are offering. My respect for it would have sky rocketed if it had been really people's wallet friendly! But apparently not. When asked about why its soo unaffordable..even for students..(what about students without funding).. the teachers did not have a credible answer. They claimed that people don't respect what is cheap/free. My head spun when I heard that. Again.. Pomona has pampered me WAY too much! But seriously.. that's the best you can say??? And I read somewhere that the founder himself was asked the same thing, to which his witty Holiness retorted saying.. If you want it free, go to prison... its free in prison! And I was annoyed like no other!
Yet his AG does make sense. I like it .. all the more 'cos it's free!
And so while I do "follow" his blog at times.. I am also contemplating "following" the rebellion's Inc. I don't know whether to call it confusion or hypocrisy :(
But I guess I need a bit of both.. the words of wisdom and the question-ability!! But whatever it is.. after my mom's words to me.." Ninda stuthi pannadhey", I'm thinking I should just watch both sides and take only that which seems sensible and which satisfies my temperament. And I guess most of you who are not tooo into in the cult, but have experienced it will be like me!