Whyy do sum ppl have that irritating habit of telling u negative things even before u actually start sumthing/ fully venture into sumthing?? Its annoyyinngg. Seriously.
The guy and gal (MR and MS) I have in mind arent really bad ppl to work with. They arent bad scientists either. Mebbe its just me... mebbe I'm just over reacting or probably just reacting!! But sumtimes u really need a motivating environment especially when u have to dig out and find sumthing which nobody else has actually seen. I'm not gonna go on n on n on relentlessly. I know this blog is turning out into sumthing grim with scribblings about frustrations and lab and grad skool life. But this is sumthing I probably need to remember...
Wed-thurs last week: Get results totally deviant from the hypothesis. Reason: New technique tried. MR scares me a lot saying probably this is the correct result and not the ones I've got previously and so obviously I'm in deep trouble b4 AHA-summer. (Ironically MR works on the same topic of interest as me. And its only me and him that know the details and intricacies of the topic in the whole lab of 18. In a big lab, the prof has no time to micro-manage and analyze every single result. So you take the help of postdocs like MR.)
Fri: i spend time trying to plan expts with different techniques and different users. MR is included along with another nice chappie. Spend time until 2:30 am working on the darted western blot. Meanwhile I also figure out that my invivo (inside the mouse) and invitro (outside the body, in a manipulated environment) data dont seem to match at all. So now I am myself jittery with my results.
Sat: Walk in to my prof's and discuss with him the results. I ask him..
1. Is the hypothesis wrong since data dont match? "No. I think its ok."
2. Can we still publish with contradicting data? Wont people question us blah blah.. "Oh noo.. dont worry. We'll figure out a way to publish. Its ok. Just carry on working. This is science. Everythings not straitforward. We will figure it out. You should be happy your project and results are actually not letting u sleep and keeping u awake all night!!"
?????????
.... Anyways.. so the green signal's out from THE man himself.
Tues: I discuss with MR. I tell him invivo I dont get the same data for which he yellss.. "OHHH noooo.. thats really bad. Its IMPOSSIBLEEE to publish with opposite data. i dont believe your data. I dont believe your hypothesis. I dont want to be a part of this at all. Dont include my name in the paper. I've never seen anyone publish like this. I dont think its going to be ok. Its just not possible. Your data and your results dont make any sense."
Well let me just say that MR always is in a nervous state of mind. The smallest of things can irritate and excite him. U can see his blood pressure, his adrenalin and possibly a lot of his "stress response markers" shoot up every now and then. If there is anything different from the way he thinks.. and if he cannot understand it.. and espply if the data is from me... he is ready to have a nervous breakdown with a bout of screams and facial distortions and animations. And almost eventually he'll either look out for MS or the nice chappie to discuss and crib about the inconsistencies of my data or probably how I am generating wrong data... and all of this is done in languages I cannot understand.. either Japanese or whispers!
So at the end of the day.. when you are yourself a wee bit scared about how you are actually gonna pull it off till the fag end with such variable data the last thing you'll want to hear is a post doc coming and yelling at u the way MR did today. It just stresses you out a lot more.
Neways, the key is to NOT REACT. just dont care about such people. Simply carry on with the faith that someday He will show you His way of making things work, which then ironically you can claim as your discovery and write papers about and be lauded by a few and criticized by most others.
PS: The problems I have with a highly nosy and prying MS will be posted when they get on my nerves more!
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