Jus when i thot i knew wat i wanted in life....ive been thrown off guard by 45 seconds of confusion!! (yep im pretty wierd!) Am beginning to get amused and worried at the same time..how do sum ppl REALLY know wat it is that they want? How do they say so assertively that this is wht they want to do..and well sum ppl even stick to it..i think thats absolutely amazing. but seriously HOWW do they do it??
Ive been going thru a whole load of stuff over the past 1 month, been pondering over things and decisions made over the last 1.5 years...and this time i really felt i knew wat i was doing...but bam!! sumthinng had to happen and jus throw me off my feet......makes me feel like a complete idiot..makes me get soo worked up about stuff..and there i sit down again trying to re-think wat it is that i want!! and i sit back n think...oh god! not again..please not another time of this doubtful indecisiveness!!! :( and this time, im as disappointed with myself as i was happy when i made the decision. so over the last 2 days..ive been trying to figure out the answer to the question...how do sum ppl really know wat it is that they want?? do they let time jus rule..and with time do they end up realising wat they want in life?? or do sum ppl jus grab it...and convince themselves that this is wat they waana do!! one of my friends felt that one never really knows wat it is..u jus haveta sumtimes work towards feeling glad about wat u have and feel happy about it..and eventually think that this is wat it is..or this was how it was meant to be...
either ways..i think ppl that really know wat they want...espply those that truly know within themselves and dont jus say so on the outside.. deserve to be admired and appreciated!! its amazing that they r so confident about wat they waana do....atleast in sumthing if not everything! and so as i spend moments thinking about this, i feel bad that im not there yet!! and i jus wait patiently impatient for things to dawn into me..i really hope the day breaks soon here!
(and while i actually tread thru these weak spots with time, i realize once again its my friends who are my pillars of support. and so even while i am going thru this self inflicted thot process, i really waana thank some of them for not jus lending an ear but also for being really supportive of me. Thanku..cant imagine carrying along so far without u folks!!)
2 comments:
Good entry. I really like that line of thinking youre treading on now (well atleast in Oct).
I'm passively curious about those intriguing 45 seconds, but I'll let that slide.
I'm hoping you have figured out some answers to your questions by now, or rather, succeeded in asking better questions. But in any case, by my judging of ur post, I dont think you have anything to worry about. I mean, worry in a useful way, but don't feel bad.
People only perceive that they know what they want. Perceptions are mutable, or can be kept strictly plastic. Now these things, people either make conscious choices or let some subconscious indoctrination rule over. I think each decision or piece of 'self knowledge' involves fractions of both the conscious and the subconscious, and I feel it is best to apply conscious and rational thought whenever possible and let the subconscious take the autopilot and go with the 'feel' whenever conscious reasoning is intractable.
Confusion is uncomfortable. I agree, but thats cos your conscious mind is working overtime perhaps ?
Prolonged confusion might lead to a bit of distress, which worries you. After all, happiness is elusive to the perpetual thinker. But in the long run, a perpetual state of confusion brings about its own state of wellness. I cant call it happiness, bliss or joy. In fact it might involve some sorrow and realization of helplessness, but it is a sort of wellness nonetheless.
Hmm.. I might not be making sense, or rather not expressing myself well. Let me point you to some apt quotes from one of my favourite intellectuals -Bertrand Russell
In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
.. oh well there are so many more.. I think u will enjoy bertrand's company as much as einstein did. Sometimes i wonder who was the smarter of the two.
u need to post something man! maybe abt structural bio-informatics? :P
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